Marriage

Em Português

From this text on I will include a little bit of my personal experiences as a Pleiadian consciousness incarnate, who has experienced a bit of life in the third dimension, who witnessed the events of human life as it is, as it has been, attempting to establish guidelines for necessary changes in the evolution of the world.

One of these important aspects to be discussed is the issue of marriage, something I have experienced in the last 10 years of my life.

According to the Indian philosopher Osho, we have the following, among many of his quotes about marriage: "Learn something from marriage.  Marriage represents the whole world in miniature: it teaches many things.  It is only the mediocre who learn nothing.  Otherwise it will teach you that you do not know what love is, that you do not know how to relate, that you do not know how to communicate, that you do not know how to commune, that you do not know how to live with another.  It is a mirror: it shows you your face in all its different aspects.  And everything is necessary for your maturity.  But a person who remains attached to it remains immature forever.  You have to go beyond that, too. "

I intend to begin my analysis of marriage from this statement.  I used to believe in marriage, because I always believed in Love and I have always considered important that sex should be practiced with Love. That is why I clung to the idea of ​​marriage, something very much defended by society. For every man, and for every woman, society always thought to be important that the two should marry, and then have children, and that both of them should keep themselves together to raise these children. This has always been the necessary sequence for life in the Western world. This has always been almost mandatory!

But this began to prove ineffective from the 60's on, when we had the so-called sexual revolution and life as it was began to change.  And the institution of marriage began to be questioned.

Why?

For many who still advocate on behalf of the institution of marriage, they often use old marriages as the main argument to support this, always analyzing those couples who literally "die" together.  These are stories of marriages that have lasted 30, 40, 50 years or more, which have spawned generations of grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren, and formed huge family groups where everyone always met in the old man's house to celebrate great dates, such as Christmas celebrations, New Year celebrations, etc.  For many years the institution of the family in these molds was highly valued.

But were they really relationships built on happiness?  How far was that happiness?  What did it take for a relationship to last for so long?

Taking a careful look at the lives of these people who have spent many years together, and listening to their life stories, there are some words that stand out, such as patience, understanding, companionship, tolerance. In the speeches of these elders, they hardly use words like love, affection, compassion, tenderness.  We come to the conclusion that the vast majority of these unions were not really created by Love, but perhaps for convenience, material interests, all with the purpose of restricting family business within a circle of known and controllable persons.

It comes to the sad conclusion that happiness was never something that truly belonged to these unions, but someone, or even the two gave up their freedom in the name of keeping everything "in the family".  Families, after all, have always been much more a business act, a way of controlling possessions, assets, than truly forming happy unions. They have always been unions that restrict access to possessions. And in the end, when the original couple of the family eventually dies, what you still see are brothers fighting and killing each other to see who gets the possessions of that family!

Where does Love come in this?  Where does spiritual growth come in this?  Where does affection come in this?

Marriage has always been seen as an investment, a business transaction. But of course, like everything in life that is misused by humans, it is not exactly the problem.

Why put law into something that should be ruled purely and simply by Love?

In another Osho statement about marriage, he says the following: "Marriage has become a battlefield where two people are fighting for supremacy. Naturally man has his own way: coarse and more primitive. The woman has her own way: feminine, softer, a little more civilized, and more subdued. But the situation is the same.  Now psychologists are talking about marriage as intimate enmity.  And this is what it has proven to be.  Two enemies are living together pretending to be in love, expecting the other to give love, and the same is expected by the other. No one is ready to give it - no one has it. How can you give love if you do not have it?"

This has been the reality of marriages in recent decades.

In another passage, Osho tells us the following: "Meditate on this: a fool and his calm are soon separated.  That's what marriage will be.  Only fools think in terms of legality; otherwise, love is enough.  And I'm not against marriage - it's about love.  If love becomes your marriage, great; But do not expect marriage to bring love.  That's not possible.  Love can become a marriage.  You have to work well consciously to turn your love into a marriage."

In my earthly experience, what I observe is that we learn a lot in every relationship we experience in our life.  Evolution is the great universal law, and every relationship we have with each of our partners brings us more knowledge, not only about our partner, but about ourselves!  It is like standing before a mirror and watching every reaction of ours before it.  Our partners are our mirrors, and they will always point us to what we need to work on to become a better version of ourselves.

But from the moment that the partnership is broken, when at one point it is observed that one begins to evolve in one direction, and the other begins to evolve in a different direction, how to maintain such a relationship?  We begin to feel trapped, suffocated.  There is no support but only criticism, judgments, attacks.  In the individual evolution of each one, we realize that the only thing that must be eternal is life, not our relationships.

"May it be eternal while it lasts!" that’s what many say.  Because the relationship may come to an end, but the memories of it remain for all eternity.  Therefore, when disagreements begin, the best that each one can do is to respect each other’s freedom, for to love unconditionally is to respect each other's freedom and let go.

I want to make it clear that I do not intend to defend promiscuity and the lack of commitment between two souls!  The complicity and absolute intimacy proposed by Tantric philosophy requires a stable relationship between a couple.  It requires unconditional love, sincerity, respect, surrender, and this can only be achieved in a monogamous relationship.  But why do we all need to officially do this on a legal level?  Just for the sake of material possessions?

In this New Age that begins, we must revise our concepts, let go of material possessions, and love ourselves completely, for we all are ONE!